All She Keeps Inside Isn’t On The Label
by StOnE CoLd SaRaH
Summary: A mystery diva (she'll be unveiled at the end..don't worry) has become dependent on drugs. Sung to the tune of Pinks 'Just Like A Pill" Include Jericho, Raven (of course!) and said, mystery diva. Review please?!


A/N: I own none of these characters. All are owned by WWF(E) and Vincent K. McMahon. If I owned the characters, RAW would be on a channel that's -not- on cable. So, I could watch muh Ravenly and Molly...-ly.... ^___^ And now the anti-American Four. I'm ranting again, eh?   
  
I also don't own the song, "Just Like A Pill" Pink and Linda Perry, do. It's a cool song, and I don't mean any disrespect to it. Please don't sue. This is also in the universe of my story 'Wrong Way' Maybe I should just say WWW (Wrong Way world) So, please don't be confused (you could always go and review that story, to make this old author feel young again ^__^ ) Raven-ly did have 'substance abuse' problems, though I don't know to what extent, so I expanded. Please, again, don't sue.   
  
This is in memory of C.G. who has been dead to me for so long, but I hope that she can get out of her own personal hell.   
  
  
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Lying here on the floor where you left me / I think I took too much / I'm crying here, what have you done? / I thought it would be fun.   
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Since they've put me here, I've had time to think. A lot of time. At first all I did was cry, and question God. Once I stopped, I realized my mistakes and my anger rose, and I hated everyone.   
  
Especially him. Edge. That bastard that put me here. I hate him so much. He's the reason I'm here in this cold, dark room all alone, and not home safe in my big bed, with my covers over my head.   
  
I'm so cold. They won't let me wear a sweater, because I might try and hang myself.   
  
I'm an addict, not suicidal.   
  
  
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I can't stay on your life support / There's a shortage in the switch / I can't stay on your morphine / Cuz it's making me itch.   
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For the longest time Edge was my man. Not in any sort of romantic kind of way. No, he was my support. He's be the one who'd go into the dirty slums and get drugs for us. Compared to me, he is a much more scarier guy and no one would bother him on his quest for the golden ambrosia.   
  
I knew that Edge was bad news. I knew I had to get away for him, but I couldn't. I tried so hard. Yet every time I was away from him and his glorious medicine, I'd start to twitch and feel itchy.   
  
  
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I said I tried to call the nurse again / but she's being a little bitch.   
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After the second or third time of being without Edge and his ambrosia, my friends started getting suspicious.   
  
The few friends I had left. Torrie, Stephanie, Christian, and Jericho finally intervened after Jericho found me passed out on the floor of my locker room.   
  
Thanks to Stephanie, not only did they put me into rehab, but so is Edge. Far, far away from me.   
  
Sometimes it's so hard for me to be so far away from someone that I love. I told Jericho that once, and he got a weird look in his eyes. And then he told me what I knew was the truth, but I didn't want to believe it. He said that I didn't really love Edge. I loved the drugs. But, once the high from them lowered, Edge didn't love me back and neither did the drugs.   
  
I've been trying to call the nurse again, but she's turned a deaf ear on me. Bitch. I sit back down on my cot and think about happy times, and happy people. But, my body is starting to shake again. I'm not used to be going this long without anything in me. I really need Jericho and his kind words right now.  
  
  
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I think I'll get out of here/ Where I can run just as fast as I can / To the middle of nowhere / To the middle of my frustrated fears.  
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It's so cold and I can't sleep. I feel like I'm going to throw up. I don't even have a respectable place to do that, either. 'They' are afraid I might try and drown myself.   
  
If I die here, and the pain is bad enough that I just might, then I'll die in my own vomit and urine.   
  
This is not the life I imagined for myself. I always dreamed of being a female wrestler with skills that were so good, that I could keep up with the Francine's, Chyna's, and Lita's of the world. But, now look at me. I'm thinner then normal, almost deathlike. My hair hasn't been washed or cut for a month. My eyes are horrible and bloodshot. I shake all the time. I'm always cold.   
  
I just want to get out of this place. With it's white walls and sickeningly cheerful nurses who put on a fake smile everyday and then come to this hellhole. I want to run out of this place as fast I can, and never look back. But first, I have to prove to the higher powers that I can stay clean.  
  
  
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And I swear you're just like a pill / Instead of making me better / You keep making me ill / I haven't moved from the spot where you left me.   
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Every time my resolve starts to break down, and I think about Edge and his drugs, I stop and think about Jericho and his smile. When it's visiting hours, Jericho comes and talks and sits with me. Torrie can't come every time because, unlike me, she got a push and has been training harder then ever to try and win the Women's Title from Lita. I'm very proud of her, but I still feel a little selfish, because I want her with me. And Christian is with his brother, and Stephanie is with her boyfriend, Christian, supporting him.   
  
So, I've got Jericho to support me. He comes to see me almost everyday. On Tuesdays he can't because of the show, and on Sunday's he works house shows. But, the rest of the days he's with me.   
  
We usually go into a quiet corner in the library that the rehab provides. Somedays when I can't stop shaking, he makes me sit on his lap and he reads to me. And when I'm sitting there, I don't have any thoughts about Edge, or drugs, or being cold.   
  
All I feel is Jericho.   
  
  
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It must be a bad trip / All of the other pills were different / Maybe I should get some help / I can't stay on your life support / There's a shortage in the switch / I can't stay on your morphine / 'Cause it's making me itch.   
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When Jericho's not around, and I'm stuck being all alone with myself, I think about Edge. I wonder what made him into a drug addict. Torrie says that's one of my best qualities, that I always used to think of other people before myself.   
  
I know why I turned to drugs. I wanted an escape. From everything. From my less then perfect childhood. From becoming a prostitute as a teenager. And then all that horrible pain and guilt I felt when I broke the heart of the man that saved me from all of that.   
  
The one who got me off the streets, and took me with him to work one day. He was a wrestler, and I found something that I was good at, for once in my life. And I screwed up our relationship, when I joined his brothers. About three different times.   
  
I always felt like I'd never find love. Torrie had Kidman. Evil bitch Molly Holly had Raven. Stephanie had Christian. Hell, even Tommy Dreamer found his soul mate in Francine. And, I had no one.  
  
That is, until Edge came along. I thought he was different then those guys that used to pay me money for my 'services.' But, he wasn't. They all used me for their own personal needs. And so did Edge. He probably would've became an addict anyway, even without me. But, he needed me as an excuse. I was a person to blame and point a finger at. It might have taken me awhile, but I've finally see what he is. A man who craved and required another person to blame for his troubles.   
  
  
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I said I tried to call the nurse again / But she's being a little bitch / I think I'll get out of here / Where I can run as fast as I can / To the middle of nowhere / To the middle of my frustrated fears.  
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Well, today's the day. I'm finally free. I've been clean for three whole months, and today they're releasing me. Jericho's coming to pick me up and take me home. Well, really to his house nearby, since I don't really have a home to go to. I feel so damn good. It's like there's a giant weight lifted off of my shoulders.   
  
The nurse smiles at me as she sees me moving back and forth on the back of my heels in anticipation. I'm in such a good mood that I smile back and silently tell her I'm sorry for calling her a bitch all those times when I first came.   
  
As if she can read my mind, she smiles even bigger.   
  
Jericho's honks and I run outside with a quick wave behind. How good it feels to have the sun on my face!   
  
"Hey sweetie! I hope you don't mind, but I kinda ode someone a ride. He promised to be on his best behavior." Jericho says as he sweeps me up into a big bear hug, and then he takes my duffel bag.   
  
I get into the front seat, and I'm a little surprised to see Jericho's surprise guest, Raven sitting in the back. I smile and say hello, and in typical Raven fashion he nods his greetings.   
  
Jericho gets into the car and he and Raven get into a discussion about who was greater with Val Halen, Sammy or Eddie. I take this time to steal glances at Jericho as he drives and talks. And he talks quite animatedly, with his hands swinging all over the place to illustrate his points. And he looks very cute when he talks lively, even if it is a little dangerous to be doing on such a tiny little road.   
  
We end up at Jericho's house and he shows me his two little ferrets. They're very cute and sweet, and I laughed when Jericho started to walk around with one of the ferrets on his head.   
  
When I asked, innocently enough, why Raven seemed to be avoiding the ferrets, Jericho cracked up and said, " 'Cuz they've both bit junior over there. And he's afraid of them now!"   
  
Raven only muttered under his breath something about Jericho being the junior.   
  
I feel kind of tired and tell Jericho. He shows me my room, and as soon as my head touches the pillow I fall fast asleep. After sleeping on a broken cot with springs that would stick you in your back, if you laid down wrong, so this bed feels like heaven.   
  
  
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And I swear you're just like a pill / Instead of making me better / You keep making me ill / You keep making me ill.  
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When I wake up, it's close to midnight, and everything is dark in the house. So I sneak quietly out of my room and into the kitchen looking for a snack.   
  
And not really expecting to see a shirtless Raven sitting cross-legged on a kitchen chair, staring out the window, eating a piece of cheese. Add that to the list of weird things I've seen in my life. This'll go right next to the time that involved Page, Kanyon, whipped cream, and---Nevermind.   
  
"Couldn't sleep?" Raven asks not really looking up.  
  
"Yeah." I say grabbing a sandwich from the refrigerator and sitting down next to him.   
  
He turns to look at me and smiles, "Hurts. Doesn't it?"   
  
"What? The sandwich? It's only roast beef. No mayonnaise. So it's totally kosher." I say taking a bite.  
  
"Not that mi larga pierna. The pain. The want. That burning need that gnaws at you, in the back of your mind."   
  
"Only at night."   
  
"You know, I've felt your pain before--"  
  
I stop him, "I'm not going to join you or your Flock, Rav."   
  
"And I'm not asking you to. I'm talking to you personaly. Work is left at the door. When I first...well, really the second time I came to the WWF people weren't sure I was totally clean yet. You remember all the wild shit I, and mostly everyone else, used to do back then. I wasn't very sure of myself. Yes, me. Your glorious and fearless ring leader, having self esteem problems, instead of -giving- them." He stops and smiles. "But, I did. And having all those people breathing down your back, constantly making sure your not going to do anything to fuck yourself. Well, that doesn't exactly make for a sane working environment.   
  
"You should know this, because when you go back, they'll be watching. More then usual. And your enemies, oh those evil bastards, they'll be having a field day! They'll set up traps to see if you'll falter. Trust me, I know. If Jericho and Tazz weren't there for me those first couple of months, I might have walked down that desolate, barren place again. Jericho is a good man. And you're quite a lucky girl to have him wrapped around your finger."   
  
I blush and stutter, "I don't have him wrapped around my finger! He...He..just likes doing stuff for me. That's all!"   
  
"And I like doing 'stuff' for my golden goddess Molly. Think about that."   
  
  
Raven leaves before I can retort about Molly not being golden... and me not having Jericho around my finger. And almost as if on cue, Jericho walks in.   
  
  
"Hey honey. How are you doing?"   
  
I shrug. "All right. Rav, was just telling me some bullshit. That's it."   
  
Jericho's eyebrow raises, "Really?"  
  
"Yeah. About how you and I are like him and Molly."  
  
I watch as he seems to physically wince. "What!?" He looks around and then sighs, "I think I'm going to kill birdbrain tomorrow. I l- No wait. Let me try again. You know how I have a big mouth?" I nod and roll my eyes. Understatement of the year. "Well, when you're around me, I get tongue- tied and I stutter worst then Bubba used to. When you leave, all I can think about is the next time I'll see you. Stacy, I love you. And I'm sorry if this might be too stressful for you, since this is your first day of freedom. But, I do, and haved loved you since I first saw you. Is 'haved' even a real word? Anyway, I've loved you since I first saw you in Vince's office all those months ago. And you have no idea how jealous I felt when I saw Angle looking at you like I was. I love you, Miss Kiebler."   
  
I lean across the table and kiss him. "I love you too, jerky."   
  
  
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And I swear you're just like a pill / Instead of making me better / You keep making me ill / You keep making me ill.  
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Edge was no good for me. He kept me sick and unhealthy. But, Jericho is like the cure for my sickness. And it is true. I didn't realize it before, but I was falling in love with him. And I realize now, that I do love Chris.   
  
I, Stacy Kiebler, have finally found someone to love. And that someone loves me back. 


End file.
